1) I have always been like this. I can’t change that.
Powerless people allow their past to dictate their present and future. They are quick to adopt the idea that they are a product of their environment and that things are ‘just meant to be’. The quicker they accept their fate, the quicker they adopt and the less it hurts. The only problem with this is that deep down inside they know this just doesn’t “feel” right. They are not satisfied with the way they live; they are searching for more out of their life. I believe this is God’s way of letting them know that they were created to be more than just a reaction to their environment. They were rather created with the freedom and the power to influence their own environment, by the way they make their choices to respond to it and to even influence and shape it. I am not denying the environment’s influence on people, I am rather pointing out to the fact that it can change. The choice is ours.
2) Scared to answer: What if I changed?
Change can be intimidating, scary, and uncomfortable. The ultimate challenge is, am I ready to make changes and to become what I have always wanted to become? What if I failed at making changes? What if I succeeded? Will I like the new me?
The core issue here is our identity. If you have lived in a certain condition and with a certain image all your life, you have owned that image, and if it is not healthy for you, you have to give it up and to embrace the change into a new identity for yourself. This is why I like God. He is under the impression that you were created for Glory! That is why He invested in His son’s blood, which paid for your shortcomings and your mistakes in life, so that God could restore you to that Glorious image! That means you deserve better than what life dished out to you, you don’t have to keep paying for your mistakes and to stay the same, always wondering, “What if?”
3) What would people think?
They will think that you changed! That’s right. The real question is: Does people’s opinion matter to you more than your quest for change? If the answer is yes, then your happiness is dependent upon people’s approval of it. This makes you not a free person, because you are not who you want to be, you are who others want you to be. You have given up your human right to become all that you have always wanted to be for fear that others will not like you and will not approve of you. They might even try to punish you for trying to be different from what they are used to you being. Will you let them? This change may even alter the nature of some of your closest relationships and change the course of your life. The choice is yours: either change by becoming who you truly want to be or stay the same and keep others happy. I assure you they will be the only ones…..
by Kayla Roberts, BCPC, RMHCI